Just said a lot of not nice things to myself about the rather large woman carrying a rather large quantity of sandwiches to work. Turns out she gives them to each homeless person she walks by. I suck.
Everyday I walk by this school and everyday they are outside for PE and every time they are all sitting on the blacktop with their PE coach standing in front of them. Coach (and we'll use that term loosely), that's not PE.
The homeless woman wearing yellow rubber gloves who is roaming the isles of Walgreens stopped to tell me to not hit her again and that the ice cream is out of Starbucks.
Cashier: "What size?"
Woman: "Not a small but the next size."
Uhhh, those are commonly referred to as mediums.
The manicurist is wearing a Puma face mask; why does Puma make face masks?
"There's something in the water at Monterey Bay Aquarium" is a very stupid tag line. I would sure hope there is something in the water or else you have yourself one crappy aquarium
The old saying; if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, should apply to nail salons; if you wouldn't say it in English, don't say it at all.
When walking by a homeless man with a fresh urine stain on his crotch, it's best to hold your breath for a solid 20 yards upon passing. yow!
Best quote ever from TLC's, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant: "I literally had a baby in my pants."
According to Just For Men, if you're sporting some gray then you are unable to get a job and a date. If you're unemployed and single, chances are it's not your spotty grays that are holding you back.
What was the plan for the 80's? To make white people dance 75% more awkward than any other decade?
Ready for the food pyramid people to just call a bottle of wine, a glass of wine.
Excuse me sir, don't look at me and tell me to give you some suga. At least buy me a drink first… and don’t be homeless.
Woke up from a dead sleep to sneeze. It was overwhelming to say the least
Just walked by a crazy person looking up at the sky and flagging down the sun like it was a rescue helicopter. That's funny.
If you cross the street on a red hand and fellow crossers follow your lead without looking and one gets hit by a car and dies, is that involuntary manslaughter?
Just watched a homeless man take a swig of rubbing alcohol. Impressed, nauseous, curious...
This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.