A grown man with fellow grown men, at a baseball game with his baseball glove. Gets me every time.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. Just stepped in the only puddle on the side walk and it splashed on my ankle. Sweet jesus please don't be urine.
The Olsen twins look awfully similar to Madonna... is there something we don't know?
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"Thieves Steal Bike From Blind Student".
Well, blind people shouldn't be riding bikes.
Almost lost a fight with the exercise ball this morning. That little fucker had a deceptive amount of spring.
Homeless mans sign: "If most women did not look good they would be no good at all".
From one swaggering homeless man to another (at 8:46 in the morning):
"Like the bible said, drinking is not a sin, you can have a little bit just not get drunk."
A TSA agent looks at me, looks at my ID, looks at me, looks at my ID, looks at me and then says: "Wow you've lost a lot of weight, good for you." He then points to my picture, then back at me: "Yea, right here in your jaw." Ha! No, I was 15, but thanks for breaking down my awkward years.
You know its hot when it’s not just the homeboys wiping their foreheads with a terry cloth towel
Why do mentally handicapped people always wear Mickey Mouse shirts
What we just learned: 1) sidewalk bike racks come out of nowhere, and 2) they’re the exact same height as my crotch
Not very happy about what I just stepped on. Hopefully my shoe doesn't get pregnant.