Not sure how I've made it this far in life
Bad news: it took 3 buttons to realize that my shirt was inside out.
|
Not sure how I've made it this far in life Bad news: it took 3 buttons to realize that my shirt was inside out.
0 Comments
And a 1, 2, 3, 4 Walking behind a man who was mildly jammin' to his iPod. Then BAM! Put his hands to his side, snapped both his fingers, and threw out jazz hands. Ahh-mazing.
Take my good hand A man with hooks for hands just offered me a pen from one of his hooks. I tried to say "no thank you" but all that made its way out was, "ew".
I prefer "spinster" “Money hungry sluts! All you women are money hungry sluts.” Thanks for the kind words homeless man, but maybe if you were nicer, you wouldn't be on the corner.
Is that your Toyota over there? If you're cruisin' around with a gold chain that has a Ferrari logo, you just gave away that you, in fact, do not own (or know anyone who does own) a Ferrrari
Well played The Obama's dog is black and white. Very clever, first family. Very.Clever.
There has got to be an age limit Old people doing self-check via Southwest kiosk. HOLY CRAP.
I’m a lover Woke up in the middle of the night, kinda panicked because I felt something heavy on my arm and chest. Oh, no biggy... just spooning with a bottle of lotion that I slept walked to and tucked in with me.
OH.MY. GODDD! This evening as I was walking home in flip flops past the Bank of America building, I see something moving rather quickly toward me in the middle of the sidewalk, and figured it was just a piece of trash blowing in the wind. Trash does not weigh 2 lbs or have tiny claws. A rat just ran onto my foot and executed about 3 strides before it jumped off and ran the other direction.
|